Cory

Please why can't we just have one wedding on Cory that is a normal, straight forward run of the mill wedding!
OK off to watch part two, will they won't they get wed!
Then it is off to bed, a very early night for me, need to get me some of that special beauty sleep!
Proper post apearing soon I promise!

Lovely Love Award

Biddie bestowed me with this lovely award a week ago this is what she said about me - Katy- Her Indoors. Wanna talk about someone spreading the love? Look no further than Katy. She sends me emails when I am feeling down, and always does her best to make me laugh. It usually works, too. She is awesome. I'm so lucky to have found her.
How sweet is she, I am also lucky to have found Biddie, and it is one of my hopes to visit her, and I will visit her that is a promise, just when it will be I am not sure about but it will happen.

She says I do my best to make her laugh, I fill my blog up with nonsense in the aim to bring a smile to you all, I enjoy making people smile in the hope that troubles can be forgotten for a short while, and if that works then I am happy.

So I know I have to pass this award on, don’t be upset if your name isn’t on my final list, you know you are all special to me OK?!

Lynx she is an amazing girl, she carries on with all the problems that life throws her way, she is an amazing writer, I know as she has sent me her work in progress, and no matter what is happening in her life she is always ready to listen and offer me her shoulder to cry on, so thanks girl and keep on sending the e-mails.

Kahless another special person I have found, who is always there no matter what she is coping with herself, she will e-mail me with words of encouragement, checking if all is well, and this means so much to me, and one day we are going to sit down and enjoy a coffee and a Belgium bun aren’t we?!

Rising Rainbow, now I know RR is not into linking, but I have to say that the posts she writes have helped me more than I can ever say, you are truly amazing, thank you.

Djkirkby believe me this site is so filled with love, she shows us the love of her family, the love of her work, the love of her writing, not one but two novels in progress, all this and coping with in her own words - I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and I am celebrating! Now some of you may consider celebrating the fact that I have been diagnosed with a disability is a bit weird but it isn't. I feel as if a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Way to go djkirkby, way to go.

Captain Corky well I think nearly everyone in the world of blogging knows this fella, and if you don’t then you are missing out on so much! Now the love that corky shares with us all is of course Max, (no sorry not Star Trek) and for sharing that love I pass on this award, just as long as you promise to keep posting photos of Max OK!

Have a Bloody Good Laugh

A radio station in Australia ran a phone- in competition to find the most embarrassing moments in listeners' lives.
The final four were:
Fourth Place.
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent- up energy and started to run a mock. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other customers.
I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go, I'll tell Grandma I saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night.' After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the cashiers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

Third Place...
"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride down to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!!” My entire family - parents, grand- parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and all my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were rooted to the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.

Second Place...
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag. The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out across the store for everyone to hear: "Price check for Tampax supersize". But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks", and replied in a business- like tone, his voice booming over the same public address system: "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you belt in with a hammer?"

First Place ... And the winner is . . .
This happened during a biology lecture at a major Australian University.
A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young woman
raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?”The professor responded, "Yes, that's correct", adding some statistical data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red as she realised exactly what she
had inadvertently said. She picked up her books and, without another word, began to walk out. However, as she was heading for the door, the professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight- faced, he answered her question:
"It doesn't taste sweet because the taste- buds for sweetness are on the tip of our tongue and not in the back of your throat."

Hope you all have a great weekend.
ps 12 days and counting!

I Forgot OOPS!

OK I hold me hand up I FORGOT IT WAS PANCAKE DAY!

I mean how could I forget it was Pancake day when I work in a bloody shop that has had promotions on it for a week or more!

Well I been busy so there!

Me mate has just had surgery so I been worrying over her, she is doing well and I am really proud of her, a bit cryptic I know but she will understand this. Well done girl and here is to the start, love ya loads.

Me big holiday is getting ever so close now and I am getting ever so excited about it!!!!!!

As most of you know we did book this in March 2007 oh so long ago and now it is ONLY 15 days away, yep 15 days away and what have we just done? Spent three hours down at the travel agents and altered our internal flight and hotel and parking arrangements! We have been sitting on this holiday now for 11 months and at the last minute we decide to alter a few things.

Now don't get me wrong it will be better for us, especially for himself, but it has cost us a lot more money due to it being a last minute change! Why the hell didn't we think of this earlier huh!!! I mean we have only had 11 months to change these details!!!

Oh well all done now we sure haven't got time to change anything else! Or have we and will we!

OK then got loads to do yet so me time on the net is going to be limited but because I know you will need somat to make you laugh I promise to keep on putting up some stupid bits and pieces.

A few more things, thank you Biddie for my award, will get this up and passed on soon, and Biddie please, please be strong for a while longer OK, and will you all send me blogging mate Biddie some really good strong positive thoughts, thank you.

ps if there are any spelling mistakes in this post it is because spell check is not working, and I can't spell LOL!

It's a Mr Milo Meme taggy

I am handing the laptop over to Mr Milo at the request of Random Kahless, who has tagged him, with the help of Holly, one of her lovely dogs!

The rules: Post these rules on your blog and links where appropriate. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. Tag six random people and let them know they've been tagged.
Hi everyone it is Mr Milo here, gosh it is a long time since I have been let loose on me mams blog! Usually the closest I get to the lap top is by lying on the settee whilst she is tap tap tapping away, and you know I find it most annoying trying to sleep and dreaming of chasing rabbits and such like with this noise in the background!

Ok best get on with it or she will have the face on and nag me to be quick!

1. I will not eat my breakfast or dinner unless I am getting ready to go for a walk, so if mum is poorly and she isn't taking me out she has to pretend that we are going out, now that is cruel but I forgive her as she will do her best to take me for walkies at least twice a day.


2. I know all my toys by their name and will fetch them to you, but not to Auntie Shell because she keeps them until I have fetched her Miffy!


3. I will bark at other dogs, especially the big ones, but if I am off my lead and a little dog comes near me I am scared and will run away from it, please don't tell Holly this one she might think that I am a coward, and I want her to still admire me from afar.


4. I broke my leg when I was a puppy but didn't tell my mummy, I didn't limp or cry at the time and it was months later that I started to limp. I had to have an x-ray, which is not nice when you are a dog as they left me at the vets and the vet gave me an injection so I would lie still. Anyway they found out that my leg had broke but had set in its own way, now when I have run too much I have a slight limp, but only when I am really tired.


5. I don't like children, I don't bark at them and I am not nasty to them, I just prefer not to be around them, I just hang my head and move out of their way, sorry Ollie I know you only want to play with me, but I am an old cantankerous old git, just like me dad really.


6. I love going in the car, it usually means I am going for a really big walk with my doggy mates, but I sit and shake, didn't use to, maybe it is this getting old thing, you know I am going to be 12 soon, and that is old, mum says next year I will be a teenager! Doesn't she realise that I have been there already, I mean in doggy years I will actually be 84, that makes me the oldest in the family, but they won't let me be the head of the house though!

OK then because I am in charge, well of this post, I am going to tag my doggy bloggy buddies! So I can find out a bit more about them see!

Now I need to know more about my bloggy doggy girl Molly, and her brother Ben, who belong to Kahless, they have their own site you know how cool is that, my mum won't let me have my own blog as it would mean she would need to share more!

Next is the turn of Darwin and Stella, they belong to Marla, but Marla is a bit busy right now with caring for her lovely daughter Maizie, so if they don't get time to play don't worry, but you could call over and send your prayers to Marla and her family if you can, it would mean an awful lot to them all.

Now we have all met the lovely Eem-er who belongs to Dilling, I think she is such a cutie, and has come along way since she became part of her new family, please Eem-er say you will play, ps I think i really love Eem-er, but hey Holly I can love you too you know OK?!

Now the latest doggy to enter the world of blogging has to be the delightful Cosette, she joined Kell a while back so it would be great to hear some of her quirks, already she has Kell trained!
OK then any of you doogies out there who have not been tagged, if your owners let you please join in, we could start a whole new doggy bloggy taggy thingy!

Signing out now need to go and sleep and dream of long walks by the sea or in the woods chasing rabbits and squirels so bye for now zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Children say the Funniest Things

Junior School Children Writing About The Sea

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls (James age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson . She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an arshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)
6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.(Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age8)

13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny.(Julie age 7).

Don't you just love the things children say, thanks for this e-mail Shell!

Wonderful and Up and Running

I am pleased to say the washing machine is mended again, so Mr Cappy I won't need to go to the Dearne to wash me clothes you cheeky git!

The nice man also tinkled with me fridge freezer, so that is now singing back in the right tune, apparently it had a few loose nuts, so no wonder it wasn't feeling in the best of health then!

The lap top has been throwing a wobbly, my anti virus stopped working, I spent three hours on Tuesday trying to un-install it and re install it bu it wasn't having any of it, in the end I just shut it all down and told it that it may be time to part company and trade t in for a new model. So today, all refreshed, me and the lap top, I had another go and hey presto first time of asking it did as it was told, see if you threaten them they obviously panic! I know I was panicking thinking no more blogging of limited logging not having my toy and having to share the computer with himself, just how scary would that have been!

Nah then look what Cynnie has bestowed on me, how cool is this award eh?!

Can you read it, it says 'I am a Wonderful Woman' so there you go this is proof that I am Wonderful, little me is WONDERFUL! So a big, big thank you to Cynnie, and if you don't already call at her place get over there now you don't know what you are missing.

Hey this means I get to pass this award on, and do you know what I am going to do? Well I think that all of you women out there should receive this award because each and everyone of you is WONDERFUL, so please collect this the next time you call here OK.

Table for Sale

How can you tell this table is being sold by a man? And don't cheat either!!

This table was for sale on eBay. How can you tell it is being sold by a man? Can you solve this little riddle? First look and guess. You will find the answer below, but don't cheat! Know the answer? If not, scroll down now.....

OK, look in the mirror.Remember, if you are posting a picture on the world-wide web, WEAR CLOTHES when taking the picture. I NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD...AND IT WAS POSTED ON eBay!!!

Gone Again!

I thought things were supposed to happen in three's!!!

Me bloody washer has broke AGAIN, the other week it washed but didn't spin, the engineer came out and fixed it. Now it spins OK but doesn't wash!!!

So I think I will have to think about getting one of these!

We really do not appreciate how easy our life's have become with all the modern appliances we have now for the home.

Oh and another thing me fridge freezer has started to hum a different tune, it might be because it is feeling left out, the dryer got attention when that broke, the cooker got a check up and the washer has had some TLC, so I figure that the freezer is just making itself heard, well I have news for you Mr fridge freezer if you pack in I will never speak to you again OK, you got that, good, so stop this stupid loud humming this minute!

Well I best start washing me pots by hand in case the dishwasher decides that it wants to join in the fun!

Two Hands

Why men have two hands..................

And now why women have two hands..........

Need I say more?