Place Names

Bigfoot, Texas, USA
Blow Me Down, Newfoundland, Canada
Bonanza, Colorado, USA
Celebration, FL, USA
Chicken, Alaska, USA
Climax, Michigan, USA
Crackpot, England
Crotch Lake, Ontario, Canada
Cut and Shoot, Texas, USA
Deadhorse, Alaska, USA
Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada
Ding Dong, Texas, USA
Earth, Texas, USA
Egypt, Texas, USA
F**king, Austria
French Lick, Indiana, USA
Frostproof, Florida, USA
Gun Barrel City, Texas, USA
Half.com, Oregon, USA
Happy, Texas, USA
Hell, Michigan, USA
Holy Moses, Colorado, USA
Hot Coffee, Missouri, USA
Humansville, Missouri, USA
Hygiene, Colorado, USA
Intercourse, Pennsylvania, USA
Jot 'em Down, Texas, USA
Knockemstiff, Ohio, USA
Last Chance, Colorado, USA
Looneyville, Texas, USA
Mary's Igloo, Alaska, USA
Monkey's Eyebrow, Arizona, USA
Nameless, Texas, USA
Needmore, Texas, USA
Ninety-Six, South Carolina, USA
North Pole, Alaska, USA
Nothing, Arizona, USA
Notrees, Texas, USA
Okay, Oklahoma, USA

Penistone, England
Santa Claus, Indiana, USA
Shorter, Alabama, USA
Smackover, Arkansas, USA
Sopchoppy, Florida, USA
Study Butte, Texas, USA
Toad Suck, Arkansas, USA
Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico, USA
Two Egg, Florida, USA
Valentine, Texas, USA
Vulcan, Alberta, Canada
Waterproof, Louisiana, USA
Why, Arizona, USA

So how many did you know and I bet you know some that are not on this list!

2 Down 4 To Go

Hope you all had a good weekend. Took himself out on Saturday, just called at a few friends, he needed a change of scenery, mind you one friend did suggest that I just moved his chair to the other side of the room to give him a change! Having now been stuck in for nearly two weeks, and only another four weeks to go!!! Who will be climbing the walls first him or me!

Sunday I abandoned him and took me and Mr Milo off out for the day, we drove over to Bolton and met up with some friends and their dogs, had a great walk both dog and me still knackered now! At least the dog gets to sleep as much as he wants, it's just not fair!!!!

Trip to the hospital this morning, its two weeks since his operation and time for a change of dressing! Good news the stitches are dissolve able, well good news for him I was looking forward to watching the pain being inflicted!!!! Only joking!!!! And he no longer has a great big bandage on his foot, just a tiny dressing over the top of his toe, and that is only so he doesn't keep catching the pin.

Bad news, well for him again! In four weeks he goes to have the pin removed, so today I asked how they do it. "They just pull it out", WHAT with no local, "Oh yes it won't hurt, besides it will probably have worked a bit loose by then". Ouch are you going to believe that!!!!!

So I have decided to sell tickets, its £1 to view the removal of the pin and a further £1 if you want to twist it before it is removed!!! The lad is buying 50 of the second lot of tickets!!!! Me I am going to offer to pull it out!!!!

Off to see the nurse review on me HRT and believe me if I don't get another six months supply you will not want to know me!!

Saw this web site advertised in the local paper www.HowTo.tv had to go and have a look, it does just what it says, it gives you step by step instructions on How To, from sewing on a button to changeing a tyre!

Well thats all I have time for things to do people to see.

Swearing at Work

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues. Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1.
Try Saying:
I think you could do with more training
Instead Of:
You don't have a f***ing clue, do you?
2.
Try Saying:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
Instead Of:
She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch
3.
Try Saying:
Perhaps I can work late
Instead Of:
And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?
4.
Try Saying:
I'm certain that isn't feasible
Instead Of:
F*** off a*se-wipe
5.
Try Saying:
Really?
Instead Of:
Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole
6.
Try Saying:
Perhaps you should check with...
Instead Of:
Tell someone who gives a f***.
7.
Try Saying:
I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead Of:
Not my f***ing problem, mate.
8.
Try Saying:
That's interesting.
Instead Of:
What the f***?
9.
Try Saying:
I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.
Instead Of:
No f***ing chance mate.
10.
Try Saying:
It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in
Instead Of:
Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday?
11.
Try Saying:
He's not familiar with the issues
Instead Of:
He's got his head up his f***ing a*se.
12.
Try Saying:
Excuse me, sir?
Instead Of:
Oi, f*** face.
13.
Try Saying:
Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway
Instead Of:
Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway.

TFIF, hope you all have a great weekend.

Needs

This is a Google game, I got it from http://cynicalbstd.blogspot.com/ aka Jay.

Go to Google and type in your name followed by the word needs like this
"Katy needs" then just pick some out for fun, I typed in Her Indoors first and got these:

"Her Indoors needs"

to pop out...............i am always 'popping' out

to see that picture..........so go on then show it me!

her hearing checked...........what, what was that!

a new battery................told you i was run down!

needs convincing...........i always need convincing!

OK then I typed in Katy and these are what I now need

"Katy needs"

to get home and get home soon - why?

a pony - depends on what sort, a real one or the slang for a pony!

to wear a ball gown - would love to wear a ball gown

a new liver - oh no i don't i don't drink that much honest!

some attention - yep will have some of that so give me some attention NOW

special help - OK OK i know a few of you out there will agree with that!!!

check ups less frequently - is that after i have had more special help?!

a bath - hey that is so true! i haven't got a bath would love a bath

your help - do you think that means same as special help, i getting worried now!

to eat every hour - oh yes please!

some good restaurants - that's so i can eat every hour then

professional help - see what i mean i getting paranoid now!!!

some sleep - not surprising after all this special help and check ups!!!!

So there you have a list of my needs

The Change

'The Change', ok whose bright idea was it to call it 'the change?' I mean what am I supposed to be changing into? But the thing is it is not the first time I have experienced 'the change'. No hang on you say how the hell can you go through it more than once!

Well let me explain it to you............

Many, many years ago, well seventeen years ago, I had to have it 'all taken away', you know a hysterectomy sssh, but they didn't take it all away, they left me with two friends called the ovaries. Phew thank you I said so at least I wont go through the dreaded menopause at such an early age.

Well ten years down the line I had problems and they decided that it was the time to remove my two friends, the ovaries. Not something I was looking forward to but if needs must!

A few complications resulted in them not being able to fully remove both of my friends, resulting in a tiny piece being left behind, and the doctor assured me that the tiny little bit they left behind would save me from having to join the HRT gang and I would just carry on as normal until my time had come to 'change'!!!!

So how wrong were they, now all you need to really do is ask himself and the son what it was like living with me! Well if they as much as looked at me the wrong way I would bite their heads off, they could do no right, I was moody, I would cry for no reason, I couldn't sleep or concentrate and I just hated life, the sweats were unbearable, it was hell, if this is 'the change' then I don't like what I am changing into!

I, and them, had to endure this for eight long weeks, yes I know its not a long time when you say it fast, but honest it was eight weeks of hell for all those around me!

Ah bliss I then went onto HRT, phew what a relieve, life became livable again! I miraculously 'changed' back to being the old me. No way do I want to go through that again, and neither does himself!!!!

The bad news is it's on it's way again! How come you ask.............well as the nurse explained it to me, it is now time for my body to go through 'the change' naturally, I mean what can be natural about this process!!! I don't want to do it!!!!

One option is to increase my HRT to overcome this process, but if they do that then in a few years I will have to stop taking them and attack 'the change' then, So what do I do, do I battle through or do I postpone it for as long as I can? I know what himself would say!!! He told the nurse that when they stop my HRT he would be moving out till it was all over and done with!!!!

Ok so that said and done this will be the next step, how to practise for having to undergo the dreaded mammogram!!!! Oh what joys to be looking forward to!!!!!!!!!!

this time last year, nearly

this time last year, well nearly it was June! We were on holiday in Malta, so as I am not going on holiday this year thought I would share a few photos with you. the above is a photo of a village festival,
this is the main transport round Malta, they are worth the ride, very hot and uncomfy but you just have to go on a local bus, as they say 'when in Rome....'


the blue lagoon

over at a neighbouring island Gozo


so its great to have photos for memories.

Things I should be doing whilst off work this week, painting the gloss work, washing the nets and curtains, having a clear out of junk!

Things i am doing this week.................mmmmm not a lot!!!!!!!!

Nowt

Hope you all had a great weekend, I had a lovely time on sunday with the grandson, he is so cute, he sang me some songs, well he did his best!

He fell on grandads poorly foot, ouch!!!! Wouldn't go near him after that, mind you I can't blame him for that!

Had a migraine today so done hardly a thing, well have spent a lot of time in a dark room trying to sleep!

Got no plans for the rest of the week, just going to take it a day at a time.

Nowt else to say! Hope you all ok and I will love ya an leave ya!

11 Days Off

I have now got an 11 day holiday off from work, and again we will not be going away anywhere! But it will be worth it when we have our holiday next February to America.
Mr Milo is fully recovered and back to long walks chasing his ball and playing with his doggy mates.

Himself is in the hospital for the day hopefully having the lumps removed from his toes, so at least I will be off work to pamper him! Yeah as if that is going to happen! Update on the operation, they have taken the lump of his toe and they have also talked him into having a metal pin, which stays in for 6 weeks, ouch!

I banged my head yesterday on some shelves, got me a small cut and a lump on my forehead, must say it didn't knock any sense into me!!!!

Looking forward to going to see my son, his partner and my grandson on Sunday, it seems like ages since I saw them, and of course I have got some goodies for the little man, well grannies have got to spoil them haven't they!

Is he cute or what.
Well that is all i have got to tell you, if I am not around for a while it's because I am so busy tending to himself and getting some rest, so bye for now.

WHY

Theaters in Glendale, California can show horror films only on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.

You can't plow a cotton field with an elephant in North Carolina. Er so how many elephants are upset about this!

In Lehigh, Nebraska it's against the law to sell donut holes. Can you sell the holes anywhere else then!

Under the law of Mississippi, there’s no such thing as a female Peeping Tom.

Anti-modem laws restrict Internet access in the country of Burma. Illegal possession of a modem can lead to a prison term. We best not go there with our wireless laptops!

Lawn darts are illegal in Canada. Why?

In Idaho a citizen is forbidden by law to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds. But i want candy and lots of it!

Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath at least once a year. Should be two birthdays and christmas! What about me I haven't got a bloody bath!

It is against the law to whale hunt in Oklahoma. (Think about it...)

In the state of Queensland, Australia, it is still constitutional law that all pubs (hotel/bar) must have a railing outside for patrons to tie up their horse.

According to law, no store is allowed to sell a toothbrush on the Sabbath in Providence, Rhode Island. Yet these same stores are allowed to sell toothpaste and mouthwash on Sundays.

Before the enactment of the 1978 law that made it mandatory for dog owners in New York City to clean up after their pets, approximately 40 million pounds of dog excrement were deposited on the streets every year. That's a lot of s**t!

An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing. Who counted the seps, did they employ a dance counter!

In Breton, Alabama, there is a law on the town's books against riding down the street in a motorboat. Really bet Noah was glad he didn't take his Arc there tehn!

In most American states, a wedding ring is exempt by law from inclusion among the assets in a bankruptcy estate. This means that a wedding ring cannot be seized by creditors, no matter how much the bankrupt person owes. Get him to buy you a very expensve ring then just in case!

In New York State, it is still illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car. Do you see many rabbit's on the streets then?

Vermont, Alaska, Hawaii, and Maine are the four states in the U.S. that do not allow billboards.

Wetaskiwin, Alberta from 1917: "It's against the law to tie a male horse next to a female horse on Main Street."

In Saudi Arabia, a woman reportedly may divorce her husband if he does not keep her supplied with coffee. Can't see nowt wrong with that then!

In Somalia, Africa, it's been decreed illegal to carry old chewing gum stuck on the tip of your nose. Ok then who wants to!

In some smaller towns in the state of Arizona, it is illegal to wear suspender belts. Wonder if they carry out inspections, bet a few men would apply for that job!

In Michigan it's illegal to place a skunk inside your bosses desk. So who tried this one then?!

In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry ice cream in your back pocket. Ilegal NO just plain STUPID yes!

Christmas was once illegal in England. Tried telling that to my son when he was younger!

In Hartford Connecticut, it is illegal for a husband to kiss his wife on Sundays. But can he have sex with her?

You're subject to fines and/or imprisonment for making "ugly faces" at dogs in Oklahoma. Is the dog going to report you then!!!!

Hope you enjoyed these usless facts, would love to know who makes these laws and WHY!

Smile for the Weekend

As they approached Dublin number 1 runway, the tower heard:
PILOT - Bjeesus will ya look how fookin shart dat runway is?
CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy
PILOT - Dis is ganna be one a de trickiest landings ever, Shamus !
CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy !!
PILOT - Right, Shamus, when I say 'go' put de engine in reverse !!
CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat !!
PILOT - An den ya put de flaps down !!
CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat, too !!
PILOT - An den stamp an der brakes as hard as yer can an pray ta de Holy Mudder a Gad !!!
CO-PILOT - I'm prayin already, but I'll hit de brakes as hard as I can.
So, as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in reverse,put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and continued to pray to the Holy Mother with all his soul. The brakes screeched, the tires squealed, and there was smoke everywhere. But, to the relief of all the passengers, and, not least of all, Paddy and Shamus, the aircraft came to a stop but a few meters from the end of the runway!!!
As Paddy and Shamus sat in the cockpit regaining some composure, Paddy
looked out of the window and said to Shamus, "Dat has gat ta be de shartist fookin runway in de world!"
Shamus replied, "Yes, but da ya see how fookin wide it is?"

*********************************************

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.
She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello, how are you? We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry... There will be Hell to pay later!

Hope you have all got a smile on your face! Enjoy the weekend