MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hi, I really don't seem to be blogging much at all, one reason is that himself is really moaning that I sit on the couch with the lap top on my knee, that bit is OK, he says it is the tap tap tapping when I type. I have tried to do it quietly, but you just can't can you! So I tend to leave the blogging until he is out or upstairs, which isn't very often hence the fact that I am not blogging often!
Thank you to those who called over and said hi to me mate over at dogberry, she is panicking a bit because she hasn't fathomed out how to get onto your blog page's, so be patient with her.
Now you all know what I am like by now don't you!! Yeah that's right, I am daft, silly, have a wicked sense of humour, I am typing really fast now because he is just getting up!!!
OK then below is something that will make you smile, well I really hope so, it is not meant to offend anyone so please enjoy.
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital ..
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay
on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded
to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice
will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or
before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory
loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are
too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the
fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.................
OK if you all still love me have a great weekend!
13 comments:
Lol! This was your best yet, I must copy it and send it to my mom!
lol no if you have multiple personalities find an alter you dont like have a fight on the line then press 3 for ambulance, 4 for a physician, 5 for a long term therapist that means it and 6 for new playgrtound on the grounds you just wrecked the last one in your fight
I think there are about three or four that apply to me so I'm really confused now!!!!
Hahaha
Heck, Katy, how do you cope?!!
*scarpers*
It gave me a good laugh~ I'm taking a quick break (see my post) to feed my addiction!!
Yes I still love you!
cracking me up (or maybe I'm already cracked up as I'm sure one of those apply to me!)
I know I was crazy before I got here, so I won't blame it on you.
i know another place with switchboards like that!
Hello ! Hello ! Can you hear me now?
I've not been doing much visiting lately, either...so just wanted to say hey and have a great week.
I need a long rest in a mental hospital ..
aww..
with drugs and everything
lol
Oh my this is just the funniest.... fanks for sharing them... Im licked and sticked them and emailed them to me nut nurse matie lol
x
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