Lets see you Smile

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations

Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW

Sign on motorway garage: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS.

Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

Sign warning of quicksand: QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.

Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish: DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER

Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department."

Billboard sign on a highway coming out of Austin, TX: "Nobody reads billboards.... But you just did :)"

Biggs Septic Tank Service (near Nashville Tennessee) "Call Monday thru Friday, sorry, we haul milk on weekends."

Sign in the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."

Sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

Sign in a Rome laundry: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Sign at fast-food place: "PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!"

Sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

Sign on a music library's door: "Bach in a minuet."

Sign in a restaurant window: "T-bone steak $1 Then, in fine print underneath: With meat $12"

A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: "Today's special. Below it says: So's tomorrow."

Sign on restaurant window: "Great food (50,000 flies can't be wrong)."

Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Sign in a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."

Mum

19th September 1993 is the day that my lovely mum died, she was 63 years young, she had breast cancer followed by secondary lung cancer.

I loved her so very much and even after fourteen years I miss her every day. We talked every day on the phone, we laughed together; she had a great sense of humour, that’s where mine must have come from!

She knew she was leaving us, but I was in denial, my siblings accepted the fact that she was ready to go, I argued with her GP, who told me that my mum was a very wise woman. As soon as she said she was ready to go into St Luke’s Hospice I began to realise that yes she had had enough and was it fair for me to want her to stay.

I wrote this the day she told me she was prepared to go into the Hospice.

I am so very scared
I don’t want to lose my mum,
I need her and I love her so very much,
But I don’t want to see her in all this pain.
WHY
I am angry – Why her
Why can’t anyone help her get better?
I love her so very much
Please let her stay with us.

The whole family spent time with her on her last day, she had trouble breathing, she could hardly speak, it was heart breaking to see my lovely mum like this, I just wanted to hold her in my arms until she had to leave us. But my mum thought differently, she wanted to be alone, the nurses were amazed at how long she just kept going, they told us to go home and that they would phone us when they thought she was ready to leave.

We said our goodbyes, our son was with us, he was seven, the last words she ever spoke were ‘Goodnight Kevin’.

My eldest sister and her husband were the last to leave, they had been home no longer than 20 minutes when the call came from the hospice, our mum had died. She was determined to take that final step alone.

I wrote this the day she died

Oh mum why do you have to go?
And leave us here to hurt so.
They say the pain will ease one day,
But this pain, I know will never go away.
The joy you’ve given and the love we’ve shared,
The help, the laughter we’ve had all these years
They should be here with all those you love,
Not taken away for those up above.
She’s my mum and I need her
She’s my mum and I want her
She’s my mum and I love her
She’s my mum why take her

So today I remember my mum, love you and miss you so very much x

Lets have a Smile

How to Help?

Not really got anything to say.

This week is not going to be filled with laughter so be warned if you want to give me a miss this week!

On a lighter side my mate DJKirkby has presented me with this award as she says 'Her Indoors has earned this award by regularly posting stuff that makes me laugh or feel a bit tearful (how does she manage that)?

Well I enjoy making people laugh, it's the child inside me! But I do sometimes feel low, as in today and also as warned this week is a bad week for me, all will become apparent on Wednesday.
So thank you DJKirkby for thinking off me and I promise by the end of the week I will be back to giving you a laugh.

What do you call Yours!

Just had a lovely tea of fried egg with chips and baked beans, not something I usually have as it cause havoc with me tummy! Also it means himself will be sleeping in the spare room tonight! Go figure it out!

Whilst gently frying my egg I was thinking of the lad when he was little, and as children do they give names to things, mainly when they can not remember what they are really called.

Well if he wanted an egg he would ask for

a pattie down egg!

a flat egg

or a fluffy egg!

which got me to thinking of some other little things he came out with.

this was 'conversation'
and the first time he opened the front door to fog, he cried his eyes out as he thought that the sky had fallen down!

Always used to say I was going to write down things he said but alas I never did! DJ Kirkby has started to write down the things her no3 son comes out with and they can be pretty funny, but you know what, they actually make sense!

Now I bet you are all remembering the things your child/children said aren't you!

ps. the lad is now 21 and he still calls his eggs flat, fluffy and pattie down!!!!

So What are You Drinking then!

In a number of carefully trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink one litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia (E-coli) bacteria found in feces.

In other words we are consuming poo!

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine, whisky, run, beer or indeed any other alcohol because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

So remember

Water = poo
Alcohol = health

Therefore it is better to drink alcohol and talk stupid than it is to drink water and talk full of shit!!!!!!!!!!!

There's no need to thank me for this valuable piece of information, I am doing it as a public service!

One Quick Week

A lovely quiet two days by the sea side in Cleethorpes.

these are known as the 'fitties', one of the oldest plot-land developments in this country, dating from World War 1. Now given protected status this holiday village has a wide range of houses, some self-built. They can only be lived in for 10 months of the year.

and of course no trip to the sea side is

complete without fish, chips and mushy peas!

we took ourselves off for a few little wooded

walks in the country

now who would live in a house like this?!

and of course we stopped off for some home made ice cream, very nice it was too!

now its back to work!

Silly Babies

I thought I would show you these silly photos that I pinched from a friends blog, she don't blog these days, so she wont mind, well dont think she will!

Hope you all have a great weekend!

I am this

I know I am on me jollies, we have been to the sea side we are going off out and about the rest of the week, but I just popped by for a quick read and found out that a special person, Kahless, has given me this award. Now I have never considered myself to be courageous, but yes I am. I told the truth, I learnt how to deal with the pain, the hurt, the fact that people didn't want to believe, but I came out the other side with my head held high, so yes thank you Kahless I can say that for once I was courageous
I do get to pass this award on to five of you, three people who I know are very courageous, but I will have to pass the award on in private.

My other two courageous award nominees are Jamie for her courage in fighting her illness and for also caring for her mother and Swamp Witch, who has fought the fight and is a survivor. Well done ladies.

Right I am going back to my holiday, will show you a few photos when I return.

BYE

Hope you all have a good week at work LOL

I am off to the sea side for a few days yipee

See you all real soon

BYEEEEEEEEEE