Saturday, January 27, 2007

Time for a laugh

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart!

Hope this brought a smile to your faces x

15 comments:

Biddie said...

Very good! Just what I needed! I was wondering how your day was?

katy said...

it went well!!! they all had a laugh but i don't mind i like to make people smile LOL

SkippyMom said...

TOO FUNNY - I love good jokes like that....thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

good one! here's one for yer -

Doctor Dave has had sex with one of his patients.

One little voice in his head is making him feel guilty.

Another little voice is saying "Hey, you're single! What the hell! Enjoy life!"

But the first little voice keeps coming back and saying "Christ Doctor Dave...You're a vet"

Coffeypot said...

Good one. How about the height of worry is when you wife, girlfriend, daughter, dog, cat, house payment, three car payments and the utilities are all a month late.

gawilli said...

Got a lot of bang for his buck, didn't he? Thanks for the laugh!

Jay said...

*snicker* that was funny

Anonymous said...

laughing my arse off, loved it xoxoxox

Pamela said...

With those super stores being what they are... it could happen.
Your eye doctor can already be there... along with your pharmacist....

so why not?

Shauna said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

I'm headed to Wal-mart with a urine sample.

ldbug said...

I've heard that one, but it was so long ago, I'd forgotten! it's great!! Thanks for the giggles:-)

DJ Andi said...

Too funny. I love jokes. Keep them coming.

CindyDianne said...

I saw everything coming but the "if you don't stop, your tennis elbow will never get better". That made the morning "wake up" coke come out of my nose. Ouch!

CindyDianne said...

Oh, and we have a house.