Men Read and Learn!
The Hormone Hostage.
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST : ULTRA SAFE:
What's for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner? Here, have some wine.
Are you wearing that? Wow, you sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you! Here, have some wine.
What are you so worked up about? Could we be overreacting? Here's my pay check. Here, have some wine.
Should you be eating that? You know, there are a lot of apples left. Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that? Here, have some wine.
What did you DO all day? I hope you didn't over-do it today. I've always loved you in that robe! Here, have some more wine.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1 Pass My Shotgun
2 Psychotic Mood Shift
3 Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5 People Make me Sick
6 Provide Me with Sweets
7 Pardon My Sobbing
8 Pimples May Surface
9 Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!
13 comments:
Caz helps herself before I can get near the wine.
"Get us a beer while yer out there love"
"What did your last servant die of?"
She's already out there so what's the problem? How can I go out there too when football's on? Women are strange.
hahaka ! very imaginative her indoors ! I loved the last one.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.
You know, I've never truely PMSed, ever. My ex-husband said it was weird. I mean, yeah, I'll feel a bit icky, and if too crampy, I just go kinda quiet for awhile.
So, I think I make up for that lack-of-female-PMS-thing by drinking wine all month long;-)
I like to think that because women have PMS once a month and men do not, men can at least have the respect enough to just be quiet.
But then of course, women will wonder why we're so quiet!
Fuck it.
:)
One of my favorite quotes about PMS:
"I'm afraid PMS doesn't really exist and this is my real personality."
It's just a very dangerous time of the month for everybody. Men should be thinking before they talk normally, but at the wrong time of the month they are takin a huge risk if they run off at the mouth.
I think just to be on the safe side...I'm gonna stay out of this one....
May I have some wine, please?
hey hows mr Milo's tail and your tooth hope you are both getting better. Can't wait to see you at xmas.
Well my ear infection is gone...
Better go check out today's post at my place. You've won something.
SHIT A BRICK, I ASM GLAD I AM OFF THIS WEEK!
don't know why i am shouting, and i cannot be arsed to re-type it!
hehehe... Poor men, then again they give us some mischief too :) Love em though...
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