Sad Day
You know every now and then you get to feeling low and down, well I do, and now is one of those times. Hate it really because it just makes me sad, yeah I know I will snap out and it wont last long I will soon have that happy face painted back on.
I am nice aren't I?! So where has everyone gone then?! I remember when people would always be calling round for a coffee, a chat and to have a laugh, these days no one seems to have the time or maybe they just cant be bothered. Who knows because I don't!
As for families! Yeah it was a decision that I made that resulted in me losing my siblings, and I do sometimes regret that it ended the way it did, but I refuse to feel guilty about it, I learned to live with the dark secret for 30 odd years until I felt pushed into a corner, and when told they couldn't handle it so they choose not too. I have had contact with both my sisters, but nothing like it used to be, but then I think why do I bother anyway, if they cant accept the truth why should I have to go back to pretending it never happened, they never ask about it, it is again pushed under the carpet. As for my brother, not heard from him, not even an acknowledgement of the letter I sent him. Well sod you.
Now I know there will be a few of you out there that have no idea what I am rambling on about, and I am sorry for that. I did post about this but deleted it after a while, why i am not sure. I am not one who will usually go all serious on you but just occasionally i do, so sorry if you have come over to be cheered up.
I miss my son, he is not too far away from us only about 45 miles and a two hour drive, but they have never been back to Sheffield since they left nearly two years ago. Yes I know maybe I expect too much, he doesn't drive and he works full time so weekends he has to relax, but it would be nice for them to visit. Hey he never phones me either, is that lads? I used to ring my mum every day, god and I still miss her.
Oh well I guess that's all sorry for not being my usual happy self, I will be back very soon, and thanks for listening and for visiting, it means a lot to me, have loved meeting you all.
25 comments:
{{{Her Indoors}}}
I think you are more than nice, I think you are wonderful.
No need to be sorry (remember...you always say that to me mate!!!) and I'll always make time to listen to you friend.
It is a shame you deleted that post, I never saw it, but hey, I delete posts all the time so I get it.
xx.
I didn't read the post but I guess it must have been very traumatic to have had such a lasting effect on you and in turn your family. If I lived nearer I would pop in for coffee and a chat but isn't that we do in a virtual way. However, it would be even more fun in reality. I only have girls so not sure about the 'boy' thing for keeping in contact. I know I would be very depressed if my girls didn't keep in touch. I often stupidly think they don't care about me when I haven't heard from them for a few days, then I tell myself they have their own lives but I still pick up the phone and give them a call :) Sorry this is a bit rambling.
A couple of things. First, we all have things in our past that we prefer not to talk about or remember, but they are there. It’s how you deal with them that matters. You cannot do a thing about what was or what people think. But you can do something about what will be. So focus your energies in that direction. Besides, you have more that most people do. You have Himself and, best of all, you have me.
Secondly, I though you British types drank tea instead of coffee. Of course all my knowledge about the English is what I see on the tellie, but on the boob tube, coffee is never offered by an English person. I thought coffee made you upchuck.
I'd come by for a chat if it weren't so damn far away! I might even bring you a ding dong or two. :)
{{{ Her Indoors }}}
Everybody has a right to be sad. Without that, how would we know what happiness feels like?
I'm with Marnie! I'd be there in a minute!
(((HUGS)))
Heidi is right - that it does make us know what happiness is. . .
Thinking about you. . . :)
We all have sad days so it's cool. :)
As for boys, or lads, they don't call their mums as much, such is the way of men. My son lives about 30 minutes away from us and when he first moved he called me almost everyday. Lately, he calls, maybe once a week.
Family can give us the greatest joys and unfortunately the greatest pains. :(
I think everyone goes through this now and again. Though, yours may be different in that it is based on trauma, it is still the basic emotion that is the same.
Do something nice for yourself today - you deserve it.
kahless - cheers mate much needed hugs appriciated.
chrisb - never thought of the virtual coffee, you know thats very true, so thanks for the company
coffeypot - i do normal try to live for the present but sometimes i just slip into a low. yes we English do love tea but we do do coffee honest, and thank you for reminding me how lucky i am to have that special person in my life, himself, and of course you
I love reading UK writing. Your expressions are so cool.
Sorry you're feeling low. We all feel a little funky sometimes.
Hope you find fun in your heart!
marni - thanks for the coffee and the ding dong and time you are passing please call in.
heidi - what a lovely way to look at feeling sad, thank you
shauna - she has many a word of wisdom does heidi, thanks for your thoughts and hugs.
lisa - very true words about families indeed
cindydiane - we do dont we, heidi has put it into words perfectly
rain - we have spent the day together looking over our plans for the big holiday in feb and it has made me feel a bit brighter thanks
I am having a coffee with you right now...mmmm, it's so good, isn't it?
I hate the blue days, too, but it is sooooo good that you recognize that, this too, shall pass.
I don't know about the whole visiting thing...I don't call my mom unless it is absolutely necessary(like her birthday next week), but then again, we don't have a really good history, either. But I don't talk to much of my family regularly...maybe for some of the same reasons you don't...I don't know. Family shit and all, who knows?!?
Well, my coffee is getting cold while I type...
dilling - yes the coffee is good, we really must be sharing this at the same time, which is just great and just what i needed today. thanks
When I'm down I like to pull the wings off small insects or laugh at old people falling off the curb. Try it, it might work for you! ;)
ERMMMMMMMMMM......it's just a down day...go with it and tomorrow is another day...just cos no one visit's doesnt mean they dont care!!! i love ya even tho ya a f****n barm pot....and you know u made the right choices with ya family...they dont deserve ya...kev is fine he a grown up now... a daddy..you will always be his mum ....a sunny weekend is planned, take it as it comes and stop giving yourself such a hard time...practice what u preach madam!!!shell n mollyXXXXX
Awwwwww (((((HI))))) why not go visit your son? Book a B&B and then you and Mr HI could make a dirty weekend out of it?
It is hard when a down day comes and hits us right out of nowhere. I have had plenty of these lately and I make myself do something very strenuous or mentally taxing, it usually works for a while. I hope you are feeling better today :)
much hugs indoors xoxoxoxoxox
You're a really nice person and I would love to have a cup of coffee with you sometime.
Feel better! And yea, we guys are stupid when we're young (and old).
you'll be ok babe. days like this just happen. then they don't. trust me you'll be fine. we always are. x
(((HUG)))...i hope by now you are feeling better. It's so hard with family, trying to keep secrets. You have to do what's best for you though.
I think boys are lax when it comes to calling their mother, that's men for ya.
Hope you have a great weekend.
Oh, Kate, I hope that you are feeling better.
I know that you miss your son...He is just caught up in his own life right now. Boys - of all ages - seem to hate the phone. Dunno why. It's in the genes or something.
If I lived close by, I would stopping in for coffee and tea, borrowing sugar, and bringing Ruby to see Milo..You'd get sick of my head.
Hope that today has been been a better day.
Hugs xxx
I'm glad you're feeling a bit perkier.
It's a shame your son doesn't visit you. I would love to be 45 miles and a drive away from my mum (chrisb), unfortunately it's a plane ride away and takes some organising. We skype each other all the time noe, it's free and easy, maybe you could try this with your son?
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