The Whys of Men
The Why's of Men
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing aren't you?!?!)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't know.....it never happened)
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart !
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."
18 comments:
I am gigglingher like mad. I have heard some of them before but they are soooo(true)funny. I think you will have start doing a Witty Weds or Funny Friday!!
Morris needs a lawyer, so he grabs the yellow pages and picks out a law firm ---Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz & Schwartz.
He calls up and says, "Is Mr. Schwartz in?"
The man says, "No, he's out playing golf."
Morris says, "All right, then let me speak to Mr. Schwartz."
"He's not with the firm any more, he's retired."
"Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz."
"He's away in Boston, won't be back for a month."
"Okay, then let me talk to the other Mr. Schwartz."
He says, "Speaking!"
Thanks for the laugh!
My MOTHER told me the first joke a few years ago. I spewed my coke out of my mouth. I am still not sure what was the funniest - the joke or the fact that my mother told it.
Oh thank you for the laughs, i needed that!
"5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)"
That's not allowed?? ;-)
Thanks for the chuckle! Those are too funny.
I think you've just switched the genders to gain a few cheap laughs.
'YOU LOOK TERRIFIC'
Translated: 'Oh, please do not try on one more outfit. I'm starving.'
Oh and I laughed at your post, thanks.
glad you all had a laugh, hope you all have a great weekend
I was so laughing out loud at the vapor lock one! But they were all hilarious.
And pretty much true! Thanks for the smile!
just when you asked ... I was.
Vapor Lock. I love it.
Number 5 is my fave. Could you imagine the alternative, yikes!
Laughing my butt right off! Ah, men are so...
HEY!
Vapor lock! hee hee!
Also the praying for stength. Yeah, it's true. I admit!
Excellent!!!
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